Does Your Blog MATTER?

Looking to increase traffic?  
Same old guests at your party?
Looking to build more traffic?

Or do you just want your Blog to MATTER?

Then here is your answer:

Did you reach your blogging goals last year?

Are you excited to get to your email?

Or are you feeling the blah of the New Year already?

I'm taking a huge U-turn for success, and I signed up for the course.  Hey, I'm worth it, but more importantly: my READERS are worth it.  We're all here to help, grow and create "epic shit."

20 Starbucks lattes?

Or an out of this world course to blow the socks off  your inbox?

We're all family, right?

Don't you LOVE LOVE LOVE growing the love?

I'm in. . .if you think I'm absent over the next 90 days, think again. . .

I'm planting the seeds for a new blog, and starting a NEW blog - one that matters even more than this one.

Jump in. . .before you fear drowning in the sea of the thousands of blogs coming online every hour.  

I want you to be on top of the blogrolls that matter to you all over the web-

that's why I took a break to let you know where I've been, and where I'm going.

Love you - see you soon - and will post between kick ass lessons.  In the meantime, browse Corbett's site - and see what I mean.  He's built 3 successful blogs, and his tips and traffic are the shit.

Ask yourself: new shoes or a kick ass blog?

Up to you. . .

Affiliate link through Start a Blog That Matters.

Unpacking your mental baggage

There are so many ideas floating in our heads and sometimes the best thing to do is abandoned some of them.

Lighten your load-surprisingly most of your "worries" will work themselves out. An easy one for parents: remember when you worked so hard on potty training, it happened-and no one went to school in diapers.

You deserve to relax and enjoy your life, letting go of some shoulda coulda woulda ideas only helps you.

How? Take three thugs off of your list and let them work themselves out. Perfect workspace? Let it ride it is a work in progress? Perfect income? Same thing-let it evolve, just keep going. Perfect relationships? Work only on you-it works miracles.

hmmmm?

The Pleiades in the Milky Way with us. . .

(My son named this post - so go with it.)

When I started to type, the king of fun jumped in to name this post and add for you,"I'm voting for spirals!  The circles are the crappiest because they seem to trip people up, like a rock."

We've been discussing circles, spirals and life at home today.  Circles being things you do over and over again, complaining all the way.  From laundry to cleaning, homework to bedtime hours we can get into habits, then find ourselves frustrated by the life we've created.  These circles can be transformed into spirals, if you want them to.  The trick that works for us is putting our spirals at the top of the list.  It started with, "Mom, we have to do something fun every day, so how can we make whatever we do fun?"  Spirals.


What are spirals?
Creativity.


When we bring it with us to every task boredom is gone, and we find our bliss again.  Bliss doesn't leave you, we all accidently ignore it, or forget to open the box, so to speak.  The more we leave our expansive spiraling nature by the side of the road during mundane tasks, the more we sense the separation of work and play.  It's all the same, and you grow: you expand like the universe that you are, keeping your wonder and bliss.


"Why?" is a great question to consider.  Ask yourself, "In 100 years will this matter in my legacy?  Why?"  Not always an easy one to contemplate, but we think it is - how many spins around the sun are you taking anyway?  Did you ever donate, or throw something away, just because  you don't want to wash it one more time?  Don't worry, someone else will use it from the thrift store.  How many moments did you receive in its place?  Maybe more than you think.


From Queen's Greatest Hits with breakfast, to ridiculous videos the world will never see instead of TV, we work on spinning memories and somehow the dust and laundry get taken care of in between.  Just not always first, when you're determined to have fun in your day, too.


We're all spinning through the universe. . .

Milky Way diagram from Wiki Media

Heros & Gratitude: Richard Bach

I don't know what you call a hero, but for me, it is someone who takes the time to share a truth that may help others.  If it's jump in and save someone, come to the rescue or simply be willing to teach a truth that is against the grain of what most people believe.  For me, Richard Bach is a hero to write Illusions - a book the main character, Richard, says he didn't really want to write.


If you haven't heard of Richard Bach, now is the time to get up to speed on two of the best books for you, and your kids if you have them.  Illusions & Jonathan Livingston Seagull.


I've carried around a lot of books over the years, and very few have survived moving over 25 times.  These two books have always been with me, because they are crucial for life's journey.  They erase the hype - no matter how many years you live here.


Richard Bach became a hero for me many years ago.  I keep these two books on hand to maintain perspective, in case I go down a rabbit hole of belief, or am conned into imagining I'm not good enough, compared to someone else in the world.  Dangerous truths during my early years, but truth is a good companion on any journey.  You don't get hurt as easily, and you don't get fooled.  That is, of course, if you remember to use it for your own good.  I've forgotten enough times, and keep a copy of Illusions by my bed now.


I used to collect copies of Illusions and Jonathan Livingston Seagull to give away.  I've been out of extras, down to a paperback and hard copy of Illusions, and a hard cover copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull.  I stopped collecting and sharing them.  Until I had children.


I think it would be a bad joke not to give kids these two very valuable tools they can use for guiding their lives.  Experience can be a harsh teacher, if you don't know what you're doing (haven't we all learned this way?)


My oldest son has been carrying the paperback of Illusions to and from school every day.  Originally, we thought he could read it for class, but there were other books the teacher pointed him to.  He keeps it with him, though.  He reads it, talks about it, and tries the lessons on his own.  He'll find a way to do them, one way or another.  Everyone does with practice.


Last week I heard a wonderful teacher had passed away, and although this kind of news is simply a part of being here on Earth, it  made me wonder: Where is Richard Bach? What would Donald Shimoda say, and how am I handling the Illusions we are all in?


I expected him to be living on a remote island, perfectly removed from the internet and the worm holes it holds or far worse, dead.  Thank goodness Google proved me wrong.  He has a site now - I was amazed and grateful he welcomed the web, and had opened a window.


There are few people we are lucky enough to thank for what they've given us in our lifetime.  Famous people, or friends we can't find anymore.  Sometimes you just want to say, "Thank you."  For me, teachers are priceless gifts.  They shorten the distance, and answer a question for your soul perfectly sometimes.


I sent a thank you letter to Richard, with a small nervous knot in my stomach, like a kid.  The feeling was enough to remind me how nerves can slow you down if you let them.  He wrote back, and the kids were amazed.  They sent him a message all their own, too, solidifying the reality of Illusions for them.


Heros have a purpose beyond showing us the way.  Maybe you know this one, maybe I forget at times.  They remind us there aren't corners to the world, our personal universe is a circle we embrace with our presence.  Our place and time on Earth is an opportunity to be our own hero, and help others to do the same.  Every moment in time can benefit from your experience and your journey.


My children feel they have been noticed by someone they admire, they also feel they can do something incredible with their journey, too.  They will continue to work miracles in their own way, as will you, and while you're traveling I hope you take Richard's books along with you.  Not only will they change you, they may help you see you are a hero to more souls than you imagined, too.

WANT NOT, GET NOT

So before I get to the point of the title - THANK YOU for a few moments of your time.  I blog partly to keep track of awesome life moments, but mostly in hopes of inspiring you to have many, many more awesome moments in yours.  Strange - there are days I don't feel like blogging, then I get a phone call or an email that some of my finger tapping changed someone's life.  Their life - wow.  That is huge, and worth doing - better than money if you think about it.  "Time is money" is bullshit to me.  I don't buy it, pun intended.  I do believe you matter - maybe sometimes more than you do, on some of your days.  


Here it is: "WANT NOT - GET NOT"
Huh?  Ready?  What?
Let's keep it simple with a pic:

Anyone who knows me, knows to never tell me things I won't want to remember.  I've hung up, put the phone down while they are still talking and walked away.  Why?  The simplest rule in the Universe is so easily forgotten by people over the age of 3: ignore what you don't like or want in your experience, and keep your mind on what you do like and want.


Oh, it's there - it's on the web, TV shows, wherever.  But if you really want to enjoy more moments of your life, you may just want to get very picky, very fast.


Simple - easy - and I know you can do this, and do it with everything.  Don't waste your time watching crap movies, snap out of it.  If at all possible find the good in something, or ignore it.  Why?  Simply this: it takes about 30 minutes to plant a package of  tomato seeds.  It takes about 30 minutes to watch a show you're not really interested in, too.  Okay, naysayers, you could plant and watch at the same time, sure.  But you may enjoy the memory of planting a whole lot more without the show.  Spend some time with yourself, enjoy your interaction with the goodness of life, and you.


30 minutes doesn't seem like a very long time, until you remember 526,600 minutes. . .that's how long 2012 is - just like all the other years.  Just keep it in mind, some days.  


This isn't the end of the world, but it is the beginning of a new one for you.

Getting in close

How close can you get to your Happiness and not run away?
How often do you feel like you might be running in the other direction?
Most people are living in the opposite direction of their true dreams.  Excusing themselves because the have "responsibilities."
((Note: that's what great about kids, they don't want responsibility, they want to be happy - learn this (again) and gain the key to the kingdom for you.))


You choose.  Each day, every thought, dream or scheme.  It's yours.  No one is there in your head but you.  Maybe your mother is there, screaming.  Maybe your neighborhood: judging you.  Maybe the school: shaming you.  Maybe it is someone on TV you want to be more like.  Or is it all of those "How to" books you wish you could get through?


Get through this story and you are free - you can sell those books, too:
"Why does a man persist in false duties and burdensome responsibilities which wear him down?  Because he wrongly thinks they are necessary to his psychic survival.  If you have a nightmare about drifting down a river towards a waterfall you may fight all over your bed, with tortured nerves.  But when awakening you see your right relationship to your surroundings, and so relax.  Do you see why self-awakening should be your great aim in life?"
B e Y O U - if you don't know who it that is, begin the adventure of re-discovery.  Get in Close - here are more photos for Getting in Close over at 52 Photos Project.

Valentine's Day?  Know a single mom?

Buy her this book - her children will thank you!

F Bombs 4 Single Moms 

"Thanks to You"

This isn't mine, it was sent to me by my dear friend Brenna.  Brenna - this rocks!!!

Happy New Year

 

As we begin the New Year 2012, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

 

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

 

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

 

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

 

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

 

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

 

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

 

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

 

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

 

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

 

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

 

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

 

I no longer buy petrol without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

 

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

 

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

 

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

 

I no longer go to shopping centers  because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

 

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan.

 

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

 

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up a 25 cent coin dropped in the parking lot because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

 

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

 

 

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . ..

 

Oh, and by the way.....

 

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

 

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

 

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by  e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet. 

 

 Have a carefree day!!

Featured Mom: Karensomethingororther

In an earlier post I announced for 2012 I am featuring moms and more on my blogs.
This first feature is by Karensomethingorother at Ow, my angst on Blogger.
Karen's words and passion are moving, amazing. . .and will change you.  Her wit, wisdom and whimsy are all wrapped up in her huge heart ((she sings damn well, too)).  She is amazing. . .and so is her story featured here.  I'm honored to have her as our first 2012 feature here on IamthatIam.

The Spectrum is a Sneaky Bastard

You know, given enough time, I think we can get used to anything. This means, that the initial shock, and trauma that sometimes comes with new and abrupt change can not sustain itself.


Say, for example, you find out someone you love is sick--scary sick--you will have all the appropriate bodily responses: heightened adrenaline, racing pulse, night sweats, full-on anxiety attacks, inability to eat, shaking limbs, etc., but over time you will probably become accustomed to this new reality.


So, remember when this Autism business came into your life? Well, it was already in your life before you had a name for it, or a diagnosis. You just didn't know it yet. How did you feel that first time somebody took you aside for a confidential chat about your child, trying to sound reasonable, regretful and soothing all at the same time, and said what you never wanted to hear: that your child was "different" from other children. That your child was in his/her own, new, "defective" category. That your child has an AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER.


Now, before you get angry at me, when I use the word "defective," we all know that this isn't so. It's an emotional INITIAL response to finding out you have a new, HUGE thing to deal with. You know it's huge: Jenny McCarthy was suddenly out there on all the magazines and on tv as an AUTISM WARRIOR and suddenly thousands and thousands of mothers are there behind her crying out about VACCINATIONS, and DIET and WHEAT and GLUTEN and CASEIN in the diets, and there are those stories about BISPHENOL-A and my god! My child drank his milk from bottles made with BISPHENOL-A and suddenly...


and suddenly


there was this AUTISM TRAIN and you felt panicky because you needed to get on that train but how did you get on that train when it was already so full, and moving so fast?


And you googled. And you read. And you were in that section of the library reading the Autism books and feeling so alone. And you cried at night, because suddenly you saw your son/daughter's WHOLE LIFE ahead of them, and you saw them without friends. And you saw them unmarried. And you saw them living with you their whole lives. Sometimes this was okay, because damn it, you will protect them FOREVER, and you will, but you always thought there should come a time when your children become old enough to start, happily, their own lives, and maybe this will never be.


You read about vitamins, and nutrition, and you printed sheets off the internet, about how your little guy needs MAGNESIUM but how will I get magnesium in him! All these dietary reports say that MAGNESIUM is one of the key minerals autistic children are lacking in...


But in the meantime, you have to get some sort of SERVICES for your kid, but all you do is get in line. Waiting list after waiting list for IBI services and respite services, and oh, have you applied for the DISABILITY TAX BENEFIT? Wait? Wait? My son is NOT disabled?? He's smart, and he's wonderful and all of his parts work!


You are overwhelmed.


Then, the days pass by, and the months, and the years. Your child becomes more reasonable as he gets older. The massive weekend tantrums have all but stopped. Your IEP meetings go by smoothly with nothing new to report. The teachers all like your little guy. They all know his "quirks".


Everyone in the whole school seems to know that he's sensitive to noise. No biggie. He just waits in the hall while they get the TV ready for a dvd, in case there's that initial staticky hiss. If there's feedback on the microphone during the assembly, it doesn't make him dissolve into panicky tears any longer. He simply covers his ears. No big whoop.


The morning bell is no longer so terrifying your kid is gagging as he gets closer and closer to the school, so worried about that noise that he's on the verge of vomiting right there in front of the playground.


Those obsessions at home? The way you have to talk about Willy Wonka's chocolate factory all the time, and where you can obtain Wonka bars and why human hands should never touch the chocolate river? Well, that's just the way it is. You have those kinds of conversations and you have plenty of "normal" conversations about things that are funny, things that are interesting, art you like, music you like, that kid who mouthed off to the teacher.


And things pass by nice and easy for a long time. It's smooth sailing for a long time. Those fights that are on the weekend? Well, haven't there always been fights on the weekend? Isn't that normal?


You begin to imagine that your son has "outgrown" nearly all of his Spectrum stuff. He doesn't look any different from any other kid. Hell, he doesn't even look like that Autistic kid who's in the upper grades. He's got a great sense of humour. He makes eye contact all the time. So, he's got a little bit of anxiety. So what! He's like everyone else now! He even hugs you, and tells you he loves you, and you read stories together at bedtime, and he's even been helping his little sister pick up her toys lately!


But, then every once in a while, you get a little message from the teacher: he's just starting to play with the other kids! Isn't that great? He's still copying kids in class. We're trying to explain to them that he's not making fun of them, and that some people think differently than others. He's been hostile all week and just not himself. Oh, is this because we moved the desks around and he no longer sits beside his cousin?


And then, you want to go out for an impromptu walk down in the tourist section. It's cold but you've all been cooped up for too long. Everyone's excited. Your daughter has already peed, brushed her teeth, and is putting on her winter gear without complaint. But your son...he's freaking out. He's wailing, begging, screaming, calling you an IDIOT. He shrieks; "I HATE YOU!" He smacks you, hits you, punches you, bites you. You're having a moment with your finger an inch away from his nose. You know that finger--it's the MOM FINGER, the DON'T YOU EVER finger. You're still using calm tones but you're saying; "don't. you. ever. bite. anyone. in. your. family. again."


Finally it's all over, and ten minutes later, he's getting his winter stuff on, and the look on his face is heart breaking. It tells you that he would never ever choose to be so volatile, so upset, so angry, so abusive. It's pain and anguish and regret, and that great early-young-man's desperate attempt to suppress emotions. So, hug him and tell him that you are still going to help him find a way to express emotions better, and that you always love him, and you are not mad at him.


He gets into the car feeling fine. You get into the car feeling like you've been steam-rolled.


So all this made me think: f*ck you, Autism. I keep fooling myself into thinking you'd disappeared.


Sneaky bastard.

Clear your head - then the room

Okay - this one bugs me more than you know.
did you throw everyone outside so you can clean or get something done around the house again?


It's a  bunch of DEAD STUFF.  You are a LIVING BEING.  The mess will be there - so what is the reason behind being a mess because of where the stuff IS?


When you get happy first it's fun.  If it isn't fun for God's sake learn to have fun again.  There is no one in the room yelling at you - screaming or threatening you - except you.


So if you want me to show up at your house and scream at you just to show you how silly this is, I will.  Flights on you, though.


Stop and clear your head.  Go to Starbucks if you have to - but stop screaming about stuff until your laughing and having fun again. . .please.

Moms & Matter: New for 2012

Friends - it's time to feature YOU and moms.
Everybody has a mom - and everybody has something that matters to them.
What would you like to feature here? 
As you send in your links and stories they will be featured as fast as you can turn it around.
Specs:
Matter is everything - we love, live, share and care about so much.
Humorous, silly and even pets - yes, I will feature your fury loved ones if you wish.
Kids, art, insights, places - whatever matters to you - why?

Because YOU MATTER.

So many hours spent doing things, being someone an no one noticing?  Be featured here.  I'm happy to share the awesomeness of you and what you are interested in, doing or caring for and about.


The connection to motherhood is simple: you wouldn't be here without yours, and many of you are mothers.


Want to be featured?  Leave a comment below or email: internetaddressbooks{at}gmail{dot}com
and I will get your feature rolling with you!

A time to share { What will you leave behind? }

Bella at 52 Photos Project has a real challenge for many, feel free to link to your blog, too.


What will you leave behind?
Memories and Assoholics - get the crud off your ship and sail away.

I'm leaving all of the memories in photos for lingering over when it's best to relax and appreciate rather than reminisce.

Why is for you - not for them.  Don't consider why someone did something - consider why are you still thinking about it?  Wasting precious times on memories again?  DON'T!

Moments are here and now - there is nothing to bring except the goodness of the past for your future journey.  Stop schlepping the pain with you - and leave it alone in the darkness: forever.